There was, in the first years after being diagnosed with my illness, typically one night a month where I could not get to sleep. Those were miserable days, and they happened like clockwork, month after month after month. My psychiatrist would give me four sleeping pills per month, and I would use them all each month. Even today, decades later, if I don't take my small dose of clozapine on a daily basis I cannot get to sleep. My mind fights to stay awake if I don't take it, and I can't sleep. I'm at peace with needing medication to sleep. There are no side effects. It is just part of my life.
