For me there was...
- my psychiatrist, Himani Natu
- my case worker Conrad Goeringer
- my psychotherapist Frank Lanou
- Nancy Kargas
- and a mental health worker named Marilyn Dreampeace.
There were many others too. Wonderful, wonderful people who assist us mentally ill folk like the angels around us that we can't see. They help us navigate our lives on earth.
I have to share a simple moment that happened years ago. It was during a period of my illness when I'd moved into an apartment on my own for the first time since being diagnosed. I was having a difficult time by myself. I'd hoped that I'd heal more than I had at that point. Things like taking a short walk to the store to buy ice cream were terrifying for me. I was sleeping all day and staying up all night for long periods to try to manage the paranoia of my illness.
I was attending a day treatment program at the time. One day while sitting on the patio smoking a cigarette, I saw Marilyn walking up to the trailer to where her office was. There was no one else around and when she got to the door she stopped and looked at me. She said, "Mike, you know, you might have a real good future ahead of you."
Her words changed me instantly. I was in an almost hopeless period in my life when she said that. It literally carried me for the next five years. Whenever I recalled her words I'd feel an uplift in my spirit and mind. Her words sustained me more than anything I'd read or heard during that period of my life. It was remarkable. I was astounded by the effect of what she said for years.
The most remarkable thing about Marilyn was something I learned years later when I was working at a hardware store in Santa Cruz. I was learning how to work and support myself to get off of SSI. I was at the front counter writing receipts for customers as they paid for their items. A mental health worker I knew named Rebecca came up.
She told me Marilyn had died of cancer. She told me that at the memorial service person after person shared about how Marilyn had done or said something that saved their lives in some way. I told Rebecca what Marilyn had said to me that day years ago, and the effect it had on me for years. We were both astounded. The world of mental health is full of people like Marilyn. People who help sustain and heal the mentally ill with their words and actions. They do this day in, and day out.