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Even after decades of healing your mind, and achieving soundness, you may still feel a dark reality in the soul. Things around you may be fine and well, but within the spirit exists a different world. If you are anchored in Christ you might see your inner world as beneficial. You might see it as the world of wonder it is, despite what it feels like.
Spiritual books say that some of God's children are like flowers, and that they only open their petals at night. They say some of His children blossom only in darkness. Maybe the darkness in us is a glimpse into a spirit world we'll one day live in. It will appear frightening now, but will feel like home when we arrive. It will be a place of wonder and discovery.
If Christ has become the head of your life and the rock your feet stand upon, you can taste these worlds in spirit. If God appoints us to live in such a place one day we'll find great joy there. Greater, even, than what we know on earth. We'll find an environment that lets us develop into who we truly are in the world. His true home for us is in His heaven.